Wal-Mart…kills idiots AND babies!

Below is an article I absolutely had to touch on. The fact that swarms of idiotic fucks have finally managed to kill each other, at Wal-Mart of all places truly gives me hope. I used to honestly think that we needed some sort of an epic war to start decreasing the general populous. I obviously was wrong, we just need black Friday 7 days a week for the next 100 years.


“NEW YORK – A Wal-Mart worker has died after being trampled by a throng of unruly shoppers shortly after the Long Island store opened Friday, police said. Unconfirmed reports said a pregnant woman also miscarried as the crowd rushed in.

Nassau County police said the 34-year-old Wal-Mart worker was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced dead at about 6 a.m. ET, an hour after the store opened.

A police statement said a throng of shoppers “physically broke down the doors, knocking him to the ground.” The exact cause of death “will be determined by the medical examiner’s office,” the police stated.


A co-worker said the clerk was “bum-rushed by 200 people,” according to the New York Daily News. “They took the doors off the hinges,” said Jimmy Overby. “He was trampled and killed in front of me. They took me down too … I literally had to fight people off my back.”

Police added that “a 28-year-old pregnant female was also transported to an area hospital for observation.”

Shopper Jessica Keyes told the Daily News that she saw the woman being knocked down near where the worker lay dying.

According to Keys, when paramedics arrived they told the woman that “there’s nothing we can do. The baby is gone.”

Other shoppers said people kept entering the story as emergency crews attended the woman and store clerk.

“They were working on him, but you could see he was dead,” the Daily News quoted shopper Halcyon Alexander as saying. “People were still coming through.”


So lets recap. A bunch of miserable idiots go to Wal-Mart  to do their ‘Black Friday’ shopping, go fucking nuts, and begin to stampede people like a bunch of wild animals. I absolutely love it. Not only did people manage to end one another over some sweet deals, they even slayed a baby in the process! Go Team! Who needs WW3? or Population Control, it turns out Walmart isn’t so bad after all.


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